For the last three weeks I have been on an intellectual journey through Christianity. This essay sumarizes the interesting bits I've learned.
My interest started with Sol Weintraub's story in Hyperion by Dan Simmons. Sol has a child who is ageing backwards. He has dreams where "God" tells him to bring his reverse aging daughter to him (where she will persumably be killed). Sol compares this to the story of Abraham in the bible. The comprason in a nutshell is:
I thought this was an incredibly fascinating analysis in that Abraham is testing God. I also liked it because it was an example of a theme in the Bibe that is truly interesting, and not visible at first glance. I've long suspected the bible to have many of these, but before Hyperion I wasn't exposed to one.
This inspired me to read the New Testament, which I read on Audible as read by Johnny Cash. The reading was excellent and I couldn't help but feel the New Testament was meant to be transmitted orally. It's very repetative so the information loss from only listening is minimized, and the lower information bandwidth from listening to the book makes the repetativeness enjoyable.
I stopped reading the New Testament after reading the Gospels as I became less interested. I was striken by how Jesus was written. He was both firm and kind, he was questioning, he was forgiving, all powerful, reassuring, mercyful, and had faults.
My favorite part of the new testament is Matthew 27:46. In the section titled "The Death of Jesus".
It is beautiful, even Jesus questions God.
After reading the New Testament I was inspired to learn more about Christianity, and was looking for more insightful commentary like Sol's story in Hyperion. Some reviews made me pick up Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis.
I was quite disapointed to be honest. The book tries to present an argument for the existence of God. Lewis opens with the claim, inate sense of good and evil is evidence for God. His argument is interesting, but fails to be convincing. I suspect this may be the case for any argument for God's existence, you really just can't argue for it rationally.
After a discussion of good and evil the book discusses sex and marriage. Unfourtunaltely, Christian ideas about homosexuality, marriage, and the relationship between men and women make it completely untenable. A religion demanding complete faith, can't have parts which may be selected out.
A couple days after putting down Mere Christianity I went to a beautiful Episcopal Church. As I often do when visiting services, I couldn't help by cry at the end of this one. The sound of people saying such devoted, loving things, and singing together is emotional.
The service was structured. As I entered I was passed a program which contained a sequence of songs and readings, instructions of when to stand and sit, and some information about church activities in the back. The program was followed.
One thing I enjoyed about Methodist church growing up was the sernoms. Our pastor would come up with interesting things to say, and they were frequently relevant to our small town and community. The structured nature of the Episcopal service meant it lacked that intimate touch.
One thing I enjoy about Quaker meetings is they invite you to think. You sit in a plain room, with others, thinking about life and God. Sitting silently for an hour is also hard. Quaker meeting forces you to comfront your thoughts and think deeply about God. This Episcopal service had no breaks, and I felt short of time to think about the beautiful things being read.
I went to a large cathedral in the city for this service. It was magnificant. I was surrounded by beautiful art, all in service of God. My time with Christianity makes me sad to see its fall. At the service, we were in a small side room. There were not nearly enough people to fill the chapel.
My final act in this journey was to read "A Marginal Jew" by John. P Meier. This book is about Historical Jesus. I am not yet far in, but one thing has striken me. Jesus almost certianly existed, and that's all we know. History doesn't remove the need for faith.
How does a man come to be known as the son of God? Likely we will never know. There are few records of that time, and it seems unlikely new ones will be uncovered. What a mystery!
Life has taught me, perfect men do not exist. Humans are flawed. So who was Jesus? What did he do to convince so many of his miracles and great deeds?
Perhaps nothing. Perhaps he was a pious man, chosen by the currents of the world (Paul) to become the Messiah. In "The Creative Act" Rick Rubin writes "We are all participating in a larger creative act we are not conducting. We are being conducted." The world was looking for a new covenant with God, and found Jesus.